Saturday, February 05, 2011

Software employee love letter


       Dearest Samantha, 

           I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with
you since Sunday, the 17th of August 2003.

           With reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of
August 2003 at 1500 hours, I would like to present myself as a prospective
lover.Our love affair would be on probation for a period of no less than three
months and depending on compatibility, would  be made permanent.

           Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be
continuous relationship training and relationship appraisal schemes leading up to
promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and
entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based
on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.
However I am broad-minded enough, to be taken care of, on your expense account.

            I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving
this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further
notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could
forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
       Thanking you in anticipation. 

         Yours sincerely, 


Dear Max, 

          Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to
inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance.
     However, you should be informed that there are certain conditions
of acceptance. Promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However,
please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gratuity should be

           I also need to be assured that there is sufficient security
with regards to this commitment. If there is any chance at all of
retrenchment or consequent disinterest on your part, then I should receive monetary
compensation according to union standards. 

            Due to the nature of my position, I am sure you will agree
that an expense account should be arranged for my access in light of the 'VIP' I
shall be entertaining. In addition, housing and transport allowances should be
in order and nothing less than a Jaguar is in order.

             Please also note that there should be no moonlighting
restrictions placed on myself. If you are still interested in the relationship,
on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indications of

              Please also note that my sister is happily employed.

Yours perhaps, 

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