ARIES (3/21-4/19): "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!"
TAURUS (4/20-5/20): "God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."
GEMINI (5/21-6/20): "Yo God. (Or is it Goddess?).Who are you? What are you? Where are You? How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"
CANCER (6/21--7/22): "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."
LEO (7/23--8/22): "Hi Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"
VIRGO (8/23--9/22): "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."
LIBRA (9/23--10/22): "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"
SCORPIO (10/23--11/21): "Dear God, hel! p me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it."
SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21): "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING,ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES--- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!!"
CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19): "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."
AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18): "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"
PISCES (2/19--3/20): "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."
TAURUS (4/20-5/20): "God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, but NOT YET."
GEMINI (5/21-6/20): "Yo God. (Or is it Goddess?).Who are you? What are you? Where are You? How many of you ARE there? I can't figure you out!"
CANCER (6/21--7/22): "Dear Daddy, I know I shouldn't depend on you so much, but you're the only One I can count on while my security blanket is at the cleaners."
LEO (7/23--8/22): "Hi Pop! I'll bet you're really proud to have me as your kid!"
VIRGO (8/23--9/22): "Dear God, please make the world a better place, and don't screw it up like you did the last time."
LIBRA (9/23--10/22): "Dear God, I know I should make decisions for myself. But, on the other hand, what do YOU think?"
SCORPIO (10/23--11/21): "Dear God, hel! p me forgive my enemies, even if the bastards don't deserve it."
SAGITTARIUS (11/22--12/21): "OH ALMIGHTY, ALL KNOWING,ALL-LOVING, ALL-POWERFUL, OMNIPRESENT, EVERLASTING GOD, IF I'VE ASKED YOU ONCE, I'VE ASKED YOU A THOUSAND TIMES--- HELP ME STOP EXAGGERATING!!!!!!!!!!!"
CAPRICORN (12/22--1/19): "Dear Father, I was going to pray, but I guess I ought to figure things out for myself. Thanks anyway."
AQUARIUS (1/20--2/18): "Hi God! Some say you're a man. Some say you're a woman. I say we're ALL God. So, why pray? Let's have a party!"
PISCES (2/19--3/20): "Heavenly Father, as I prepare to consume this last fifth of Scotch to drown out my pain and sorrow, may my inebriation be for Thy greater Honor and Glory."
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