Essay on cow... read it

BIHARI ESSAY "INDIAN COW"

You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This
is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC's
(United Public
Service Commission) IAS (Indian Administrative Services)
Examinations.

The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

Indian Cow

HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed.
And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he
is got
child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from
4 taps
attached to his basement. [horses dont have any such attachment
]

What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler,
watermans and
mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.
Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as
well as for
making flat cakes [like Pizza ], in hand, and drying in the
sun.

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.
Then
afterwards he chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside
of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His
only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he
is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but
not
like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side.
This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body
hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft
unto the
touch.. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have
poses
by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are
like his
other relatives. This is the cow........

Rumour has it that this guy cleared the IAS & is now Collector
somewhere is Bihar (sorry, somewhere in Bihar).