Saturday, January 07, 2006
Movie titles by a software engineer
what if Electronics engineer start producing movies?
cell gola
edurinti anteena pakkinti tv
intlo audio vidhilo video
ma analog meedha ottu mee digital chala manchidhi
kaidhi no 8086
radar dhadi
priyamaina decoder
osiiii na CRO
7/g satilllite colony
akkada transmitter ikkada receiver
pandanti processor
emandi signal vachindhi
howz is it
cell gola
edurinti anteena pakkinti tv
intlo audio vidhilo video
ma analog meedha ottu mee digital chala manchidhi
kaidhi no 8086
radar dhadi
priyamaina decoder
osiiii na CRO
7/g satilllite colony
akkada transmitter ikkada receiver
pandanti processor
emandi signal vachindhi
howz is it
Essay on cow... read it
BIHARI ESSAY "INDIAN COW"
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This
is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC's
(United Public
Service Commission) IAS (Indian Administrative Services)
Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed.
And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he
is got
child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from
4 taps
attached to his basement. [horses dont have any such attachment
]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler,
watermans and
mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.
Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as
well as for
making flat cakes [like Pizza ], in hand, and drying in the
sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.
Then
afterwards he chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside
of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His
only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he
is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but
not
like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side.
This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body
hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft
unto the
touch.. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have
poses
by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are
like his
other relatives. This is the cow........
Rumour has it that this guy cleared the IAS & is now Collector
somewhere is Bihar (sorry, somewhere in Bihar).
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this.
This
is a true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the UPSC's
(United Public
Service Commission) IAS (Indian Administrative Services)
Examinations.
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:
Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed.
And because he is female, he give milks, [but will do so when he
is got
child.]. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man.
But he has
got four legs together. Two are forward and two are afterwards.
His whole
body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. Milk comes from
4 taps
attached to his basement. [horses dont have any such attachment
]
What can it do? Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the
condensed milk and so forth. Also he is useful to cobbler,
watermans and
mankind generally. His motion is slow only because he is of lazy
species.
Also his other motion.. gober] is much useful to trees, plants as
well as for
making flat cakes [like Pizza ], in hand, and drying in the
sun.
Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating.
Then
afterwards he chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside
of
the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His
only
attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when he
is got child.
This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the weapons
to be
paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great velocity
forwards. He has got tails also, situated in the backyard, but
not
like similar animals. It has hairs on the other end of the other
side.
This is done to frighten away the flies which alight on his
cohesive body
hereupon he gives hit with it. The palms of his feet are soft
unto the
touch.. So the grasses head is not crushed. At night time have
poses
by looking down on the ground and he shouts. His eyes and nose are
like his
other relatives. This is the cow........
Rumour has it that this guy cleared the IAS & is now Collector
somewhere is Bihar (sorry, somewhere in Bihar).
sardar jokes
sardar ji ka jokes:
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
:-) :-)
Santa singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne wala gadha". Santa singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back,
"Likhene waala gadha".
Sardar Banta Singh went to the emergency room with the tip of his index finger blown off.
"How did this happen?" the doctor asked.
"Well I was trying to commit suicide," Banta Singh replied.
The doctor asked, "Trying to commit suicide by shooting your finger?"
"No, silly! First I put the gun on my head and I thought my face would look horrible, then I put it in my mouth and I thought I just paid Rs. 1,000 to get my teeth straightened. So then I put the gun in my ear and I thought this is going to make a loud noise, so I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.
:-) :-)
Santa singh was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall. It read "Padne wala gadha". Santa singh thought for an hour, erased and wrote back,
"Likhene waala gadha".
Friday, January 06, 2006
A joke
http://www.milliondollarhomepage.com/
================
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a
business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally
decided to start
a hotel.They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the
hotel. The hotel was
inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer.The sardars waited
and waited but nobody
turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but
nobody turned up.
WHY ? - B'cos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not
allowed".After the failure of
their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.They bought the
best of car servicing
equipment's and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that
day for the first car to
arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2
days ,a week but no car
came to their garage.
WHY ? - B'cos their garage was on the first floor.After this failure
they
decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving.
They bought a new Premier Padmini running on
CNG and began to look for passengers.
They drew past Church gate but nobody hailed their taxi.
They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there
nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on
driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ? - B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and
decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.
They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day
and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch.
They decided to rest for the night and start the next day.
The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't move.
They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn't budge.
WHY ? - B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from
behind.
================
There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a
business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally
decided to start
a hotel.They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the
hotel. The hotel was
inaugurated and was awaiting its first customer.The sardars waited
and waited but nobody
turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed but
nobody turned up.
WHY ? - B'cos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not
allowed".After the failure of
their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.They bought the
best of car servicing
equipment's and soon started the garage. The 4 sardars waited that
day for the first car to
arrive but no car entered their garage. They waited for one day, 2
days ,a week but no car
came to their garage.
WHY ? - B'cos their garage was on the first floor.After this failure
they
decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving.
They bought a new Premier Padmini running on
CNG and began to look for passengers.
They drew past Church gate but nobody hailed their taxi.
They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there
nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on
driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ? - B'cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and
decided to push their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.
They started pushing their taxi. They pushed the whole day
and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even an inch.
They decided to rest for the night and start the next day.
The next day the story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldn't move.
They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn't budge.
WHY ? - B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from
behind.
12 reasons to be happy
1. Make up your mind to be happy.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something
of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is
to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't think that somehow you should be protected
from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder
to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding
over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time
to be unhappy.
And I could add Number 13:
To know lasting happiness, get to know GOD.
Learn to find pleasure in simple things.
2. Make the best of your circumstances.
No one has everything, and everyone has something
of sorrow intermingled with gladness of life. The trick is
to make the laughter outweigh the tears.
3. Don't take yourself too seriously.
Don't think that somehow you should be protected
from misfortune that befalls other people.
4. You can't please everybody. Don't let criticism worry you.
5. Don't let your neighbor set your standards. Be yourself.
6. Do the things you enjoy doing but stay out of debt.
7. Never borrow trouble. Imaginary things are harder
to bear than real ones.
8. Since hate poisons the soul, do not cherish jealousy,
Avoid people who make you unhappy.
9. Have many interests. If you can't travel, read about new places.
10. Don't hold postmortems. Don't spend your time brooding
over sorrows or mistakes. Don't be one who never gets over things.
11. Do what you can for those less fortunate than yourself.
12. Keep busy at something. A busy person never has time
to be unhappy.
And I could add Number 13:
To know lasting happiness, get to know GOD.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
2-way mirror test
Dear All,
Please share this information with your friends, family and all.
(Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES shown in
TELEVISION'S?
- Then you must have known about 2 Way mirror & is also shown in Hindi
Movie HUMRAAZ) How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not (Not a Joke!)
Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware.
Many of the hotels and textile showrooms cheat the customers this way &
watch privately. HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR When we visit
toilets,bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know
for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real
mirror, r actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can't
see them). There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirro! rs
in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to
positively identify the surface by just looking at it.
So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror
we are looking at?
CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if
there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it
is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the
image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone
seeing you from the other side). So remember, every time you see a mirror,
do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.
It is simple to do. This is a really good thing to do. The reason there
is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the
mirror UNDER the glass. Whereas wit! h a two-way mirror, the silver is on the
Surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel
rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.
Ladies: Share this with your friends
Please share this information with your friends, family and all.
(Have you seen recent advertisement of M/S SAINT GOBAIN GLASSES shown in
TELEVISION'S?
- Then you must have known about 2 Way mirror & is also shown in Hindi
Movie HUMRAAZ) How to determine if a mirror is 2 way or not (Not a Joke!)
Not to scare you, but to make sure that you aware.
Many of the hotels and textile showrooms cheat the customers this way &
watch privately. HOW TO DETECT A 2-WAY MIRROR When we visit
toilets,bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know
for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real
mirror, r actually a 2-way mirror i.e., they can see you, but you can't
see them). There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirro! rs
in female changing rooms or bathroom or bedrooms. It is very difficult to
positively identify the surface by just looking at it.
So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror
we are looking at?
CONDUCT THIS SIMPLE TEST:
Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if
there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it
is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the
image of your nail, then BEWARE, IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR! (There is someone
seeing you from the other side). So remember, every time you see a mirror,
do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.
It is simple to do. This is a really good thing to do. The reason there
is a gap on a real mirror, is because the silver is on the back of the
mirror UNDER the glass. Whereas wit! h a two-way mirror, the silver is on the
Surface. Keep it in mind! Make sure and check every time you enter in hotel
rooms. May be someone is making a film on you.
Ladies: Share this with your friends
Just say it to her,dont feel shy!..coz u neva no..she mu......
> 10th grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. "My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step! I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she doesn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone
went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn`t see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.
Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read:
I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me!
I wish I did too... I thought to my self, and I cried.
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
i love u
love letter to a girl but....,.,
This is a love letter from a boy to a girl.... However, the girl's
father does not like him and want them to stop their
relationship...... and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..
he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..
1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy
told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read
1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..
Where there is a Will; there is a Way...
father does not like him and want them to stop their
relationship...... and so.. The boy wrote this letter to the girl..
he knows that the girl's father will definitely read this letter..
1 "The great love that I have for you
2 is gone, and I find my dislike for you
3 grows every day. When I see you,
4 I do not even like your face;
5 the one thing that I want to do is to
6 look at other girls. I never wanted to
7 marry you. Our last conversation
8 was very boring and has not
9 made me look forward to seeing you again.
10 You think only of yourself.
11 If we were married, I know that I would find
12 life very difficult, and I would have no
13 pleasure in living with you. I have a heart
14 to give, but it is not something that
15 I want to give to you. No one is more
16 foolish and selfish than you, and you are not
17 able to care for me and help me.
18 I sincerely want you to understand that
19 I speak the truth. You will do me a favor
20 if you think this is the end. Do not try
21 to answer this. Your letters are full of
22 things that do not interest me. You have no
23 true love for me. Good-bye! Believe me,
24 I do not care for you. Please do not think that
25 I am still your boyfriend."
So bad!! However, before handing over the letter to the girl, the boy
told the girl to "READ BETWEEN THE LINES", meaning-only to read
1.3.5.7.9.11.13 (Odd No.'s) go read it once again but the Odd Number lines..
Where there is a Will; there is a Way...
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